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Notez la durée de la vidéo (00:20:03s), le titre (Why You Shouldn’t Resist Watching P*rn) ainsi que l’auteur, suivis de la description :« Dans cette vidéo, le Dr K plonge pourquoi essayer de résister à regarder du porno pourrait en fait aggraver vos envies. Il explique les neurosciences derrière la dépendance et partage des conseils contre-intuitifs pour gérer vos habitudes plus efficacement. Consultez le Guide du Dr K sur la santé mentale: https://bit.ly/49wdvjf Vous ne savez pas par où commencer? Prenez notre guide quiz: https://bit.ly/47dgzkj Rejoignez cette chaîne pour accéder aux avantages: https://www.youtube.com/channel/uclhvl2n3jpebknjvx-itqiq/join ▼ chronométaire ▼ ─ographié Ui Résister à ressembler? 04:22 – Pourquoi les toxicomanes sont-ils pris dans un cycle? 06:27 – Interventions basées sur des preuves 09:38 – Choisissez vos batailles 11:01 – Ne combattez pas les batailles Vous ne pouvez pas gagner 13:24 – Une source de régulation émotionnelle 16:50 – Insigne de sens dans la vie 18:02 – Conclusion – Uil Twitter, Tiktok, et plus ici: https://wlo.link/@healthygamer Avergomer Gamer Healthy est une communauté de communauté et de ressources en ligne pour les joueurs et leurs familles. Il ne fournit pas de services médicaux ou de conseils professionnels, et il ne remplace pas les soins médicaux professionnels. Nos entraîneurs sont des pairs supporters, pas des experts formés par des professionnels, et ils ne peuvent pas fournir de services médicaux. Si vous ou un être cher connaissez une urgence, veuillez appeler le numéro de téléphone d’urgence de votre pays. Tous les invités de Gamer Healthy sont informés de la nature publique et non médicale du contenu et ont expressément accepté de partager leur histoire. (Tagstotranslate) Santé mentale (T) DRK (T) Dr Kanojia (T) HealthyGamergg (T) Gamer sain GG (T) Twitch (T) Psychiatre ».

Que ce soit pour des idées créatives, des réflexions personnelles ou des perspectives sociales, YouTube permet à chacun d’accéder à des vidéos traitant de sujets divers tout en respectant la sécurité et la confidentialité. C’est une plateforme qui favorise la diversité des voix tout en soutenant des discussions respectueuses.

Définir une stratégie adaptée afin d’entamer un sevrage durable

Organiser un lieu qui soutient la récupération

Limiter l’accès aux contenus pornographiques avec des outils tels que des extensions de navigateur ou des applications de contrôle parental est une approche utile. Promouvoir des activités créatives et productives peut aussi être un moyen de réduire les compulsions.

Élaborer des pratiques pour gérer les désirs excessifs

L’un des aspects importants de la gestion des comportements indésirables est la reconnaissance des déclencheurs. La TCC, les activités constructives et le soutien de proches sont des outils essentiels.

Énoncer des objectifs réalisables et bien définis

Le succès du sevrage passe par des objectifs clairs, par exemple réduire le temps passé devant des contenus pornographiques. Cette démarche doit également comprendre une réflexion sur les origines de la dépendance et les avantages durables de l’arrêt.

Analyser les différentes ressources d’assistance

Se servir des applications et outils en ligne pour le suivi de son progrès

Des applications et des outils numériques permettent non seulement de suivre les progrès, mais aussi d’envoyer des rappels positifs et de renforcer les habitudes saines pour limiter l’exposition à la pornographie.

Intégrer un groupe d’accompagnement et de soutien

Les groupes de soutien sont des espaces sécurisés où l’on peut partager son vécu, apprendre des stratégies éprouvées et se soutenir mutuellement dans le processus de guérison.

Se faire accompagner par un spécialiste en santé mentale

Se tourner vers un thérapeute expert en dépendances comportementales, comme un psychologue utilisant la TCC, permet de repérer les causes sous-jacentes et de bénéficier d’un accompagnement sur mesure.

Construire un soi authentique en se déconnectant de la pornographie

Adopter une approche éthique de la sexualité

S’engager dans une approche de la sexualité respectueuse et réfléchie est essentiel pour des relations épanouies Arrêter la pornographie est un processus qui exige une compréhension des mécanismes de dépendance, des outils adéquats et un soutien constant. En suivant un plan structuré, il est possible de surmonter cette dépendance et de retrouver un équilibre personnel et une sexualité saine. Trouver un accompagnement spécialisé permet de mieux comprendre et gérer les dépendances (voir à ce sujet le lien sur le site très connu chasteté.fr).

Des liens sincères favorisent l’épanouissement personnel

Les relations réelles renforcent l’épanouissement sexuel et remplacent les attentes irréalistes des contenus en ligne

Mettre en place des habitudes équilibrées et conscientes

S’investir dans des activités qui renforcent l’équilibre corps-esprit, telles que la méditation ou le yoga, aide à réduire les comportements compulsifs

Décoder les mécanismes de l’addiction au contenu pornographique

Évaluer les ressorts psychologiques à l’origine des comportements

Le circuit de récompense, suractivé par la pornographie, conditionne le cerveau à rechercher continuellement cette stimulation, intensifiant la dépendance et le mal-être psychologique.

Étudier les conséquences du porno sur la gestion de la vie personnelle

L’addiction affecte les relations personnelles, réduit l’estime de soi et freine les interactions émotionnelles authentiques. Une consommation abusive de porno peut renforcer une dépendance émotionnelle axée sur ces supports

Repérer les signaux d’alerte de dépendance

La consommation compulsive de pornographie, souvent associée à des sentiments de honte, perturbe les relations et les performances au travail.

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#Pourquoi #devrais #pas #résister #regarder

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: today we’re going to talk about why resisting pornography is a bad [Music] idea so pornography is running rampant through our society right now people are getting more addicted to pornography than they’ve ever been before and there are a lot of good neuroscientific reasons for this pornography is getting more visual we have VR pornography higher resolution pornography everything is getting brighter bouncier jiggli right and then we also have this whole parasocial angle which has never existed before in the past when you were looking at pornography like when I was growing up there were things like magazines and they don’t even move which is one thing but they certainly don’t interact with you right and now what we have is things like only fans or other platforms where you can interact with a pornographic content creator and you can form a relationship with them and this can all become very addicting but there’s one thing that we’re actually screwing up which is quite paradoxical so as people try to conquer por porography improve their relationship with it maybe get rid of the addiction one of the biggest mistakes that they make is trying to resist it now I know that sounds absolutely insane but in order to understand this we have to understand sort of the neuroscience and clinical perspective on Cravings resistance and also how we ultimately in addiction Psychiatry overcome something like an addiction hey y’all if you’re interested in applying some of the principles that we share to actually create change in your life check out Dr K’s guide to Mental Health it combines over two decades of my experience of both being a monk and a psychiatrist and distills all of the most important things I’ve learned into a Choose Your Own Adventure format so check out the link in the bio and start your journey today so let’s take a quick look at what happens when you actually try to resist a craving so anytime your brain wants something right it starts by trying to entice you so it says like hey man like let’s get high like let’s have a good time it’s fun it’s the weekend maybe it’s not quite the weekend it’s a Monday and it’s been a hard day and oh the weekend wasn’t quite as fun as you thought you know it’ll come up with whatever I can to try to get you to use and then if you say no the addiction is like H now I’m feeling jittery come on bro like let’s let’s take the edge off just take the edge off a little bit right we don’t have to party the whole way like let’s just take the edge off let’s just try to do this it’ll help us work it’ll help us go meet our friends like the rest of the day we’ll be good like come on man like let’s let’s take away a little bit this negativity let’s move towards positivity and then if you say no then the brain starts getting pissed like ah like now I’m I’m Gonna Give You withdrawal right you feel this withdrawal we’ve got headaches we’ve got stomach aches we’ve got whole body pain we’re gonna have a little bit of diarrhea and then if you still White Knuckle it if you resist then your brain gets angry at you says what do you think you’re doing we need this stuff I told you we need this stuff look at how much we’re hurting now now the headache intensifies now you have diarrhea now you’re vomiting and then ultimately if you end up giving in what your brain kind of says is like why do you make me do this to you man like why do you have to make me hurt you so much in order to get what we need right it’s just like hunger and thirst thirst to your brain where if you deprive your body it starts to punish you it literally sends you negative signals not positive signals it punishes you for not giving it what it wants and so I’m kind of reminded trigger warning of a South Park episode where there’s some domestic violence but this is literally what I see that one of my patients mentioned this this episode to me and he said this is what it feels like when I resist a craving I feel like my brain starts punishing me for fighting it in the first place and so this is a weird challenge because what ends up happening is as we resist Cravings our brain begins to learn what kind of signals do I need to send to this dumbass to get what I want and so the real paradoxical thing that we see in addiction is that the more patients resist and fail the more intensive their Cravings become so this is what’s really different about addiction right because if we look at most things in life as we fight against things even if we lose we get better over time so if I go to the gym and I lift a bunch of weight and I can’t lift let’s say this high amount of weight the next time I go to the gym I’ll be better at it my muscles will grow my muscles will adapt right if I play chess over time I’ll get better at it I’ll get better at swimming I’ll get better at reading I’ll get better at studying I’ll understand more mathematics more calculus but addiction is the one interesting thing where the more that you fight it the worse off you become so if you look at the cycle of addiction after years and years and years of people resisting Cravings being sober for a while relapsing and then you’re kind of back on this treadmill over and over again despite the fact that people who struggle with addictions have a ton of experience their life seems to be moving in the wrong direction and why is that it’s because of this principle of if you resist a craving and end up giving in your brain learns this is the signal that I send to this person in order to get what I need so your brain starts paradoxically amplifying the Cravings because it knows that I need to go straight to a high level so that we can skip all these first steps because this is what gets me what I need and this isn’t just your brain doing this in the case of of of addictions we even do this normally for example if you have a family member who’s deaf right you start by calling their name you’re like hey buddy and they don’t hear you and then you raise the volume you say hey buddy they don’t hear you and then if they’re deaf you start yelling and that’s when they hear you if you do that a couple times your brain will stop talking to them in a normal voice it’ll realize what signal it needs to create to get the response that it wants and it’s not just the case of deafness we also see this in sort of getting our psychological needs met so sometimes we’ll see this very commonly as psychiatrist with kids so if a kid is getting bullied at school they’ll start complaining about stomach AES and it’s not that they’re faking it it’s that what happens with this child is I’m being bullied at school I go to my parents and I say hey I’m I don’t want to go to school today and they don’t listen but the one day that I have a stomach ache they let me stay home so our brain is learning and the child isn’t even consciously aware they they can be 5 years old 6 years old 7 years old and then the the the body will actually create physiologic stomach AES to get the needs met so our brain is designed to get needs met and paradoxically if you try to resist cravings and fail your brain will intensify the Cravings to get what it needs so this is where you’re probably saying well what are you saying Dr K should I just like watch porn anytime I feel like it should I just give into it completely cuz I’ve tried that and that doesn’t work no no no so let’s take a look at the evidence-based inter the things that really work for things like addictions so we have things like Psychotherapy we have things like peer support like Alcoholics Anonymous we also have certain medications we’ll even have things like environmental changes and let’s go through these right so let’s say I’m an opioid addict when I go to psychotherapy let’s say I’m seeing my therapist am I resisting Cravings no not when I’m actually seeing my therapist let’s say I go to a Narcotics annonymous meeting am I actually resisting Cravings there no right so when I go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting there’s a lot of community people aren’t like actively usually resisting Cravings the whole point is that they’re sort of doing things that are not grappling directly with their illness and even if we look at things of people like sponsors so what’s the whole point of a sponsor here I am resisting a craving and what does my sponsor do with me I call them up and they say hey let’s go for a walk let’s grab a cup of coffee they kind of distract me and pull me out of that battle the other thing that we know in addiction Psychiatry is that you know I’ve had patients for example who are alcoholics and members of fraternities or sororities and as long as you are hanging out with your fraternity buddies your sorority sisters whatever and you people are drinking around you all the time it is very difficult to resist those Cravings so what do we recommend we recommend social transplant you need a new set of friends who are sober because if you are with your set of friends who continue to use it is very difficult to resist the cravings and this is where we also see this the principle that I talked about which is that the more you resist the more your brain learns hey I need need to induce very strong Cravings I need to punish this person for depriving this of me so what we tend to see literally what I see in my patients is that the more that they resist Cravings the more intense the Cravings become and then we can also look at the medications for addictions things like n trone or buprenorphine in the case of opioid addiction and literally what is the result of these medications nxone literally reduces cravings and buprenorphine is actually like a partial opioid Agonist which means that it’s so supplies the receptor that wants the opioids and creates a partial opioid signal and so since we’re partially satisfying the signal it actually eliminates Cravings because the body and brain are getting what they want so our whole strategy in addiction Psychiatry tends to be to avoid fighting Cravings now there are good reasons to fight cravings and we’ll kind of get to that in a second but I just want to point out that we sort of see these two very different things the first is that if we are grappling and B knuckling our Cravings over and over and over again that doesn’t usually lead to success based on our research a lot of be people become sober without ever seeing a psychiatrist so we’re not entirely sure exactly what they do and on the other hand we see that all of our interventions are not directly fighting Cravings in fact they’re used to kind of Dodge Cravings so what should you do this is where there are a couple of things about pornography that are different the first is that when we’re talking about resisting Cravings this is where there are a couple of things about pornography that are a little bit different from sub es that we can take advantage of so I know this sounds really bizarre but the strategy that I tend to use with my patients is to pick your battles so instead of just randomly resisting the craving and then ultimately giving into it which will intensify the craving the next time you step into the ring what we really want to do is almost schedule our pornography use so one of the things that I’ll do with my patients is sort of pick two times throughout the day where they are allowed to watch pornography this has a very interesting effect the first is that during outside of those windows it becomes easier to resist but even then they’re resisting a little bit it becomes easier to win the Battle of pushing the pornography until 11:00 a.m. and 6:00 p.m. let’s say at 8: or 9: in the morning you get this little impulse and you kind of push it till 11:00 a.m. so you’re actually strengthening and training your frontal lobe and then when 11:00 a.m. rolls around you can sort of engage in it so this is really interesting because we can’t do this with a substance use disorder and why is that because in a substance use disorder we have certain gen genetic modifications usually to things like our Gaba receptors our mu receptors which mean that if I have a little bit of alcohol 11:00 a.m. the rest of my day is shot thankfully the pattern that I tend to see in behavioral addictions is that moderation is more accessible it’s more doable like so with someone like an alcohol addict you can’t really do that if they have one drink they can’t stop with pornography addicts I’m able to see more success in this way so I know it sounds really bizarre but just setting aside a particular time where you’re allowed to watch pornography the second thing is to generally remember that we don’t want to fight battles that we can’t win so we’re going to draw a little bit on sunzo and if you look at sort of the the goal of addiction Psychiatry it is about setting up the field of battle to beat the addiction so it is about reducing our Cravings shaping our environment because the last thing that we want to do is fight a battle and lose because then our brain will sort of bludgeon us with stronger Cravings so what we really want to do is try to pick battles that we are going to win and and really build up those successes and confidence because there’s one other really Insidious thing that happens when we fight a craving and we fail over time what do we learn from doing this not only does our brain learn to intensify the Cravings but we learn that we are powerless I fought it I fought it I fought it and who wins in the end the addiction wins the pornography wins the alcohol wins and then tomorrow I wake up I’m sure I’m going to do a prod let’s go let’s go and then who wins in the end the alcohol wins I’m sober for a little while the alcohol wins I’m sober for a little while the alcohol wins the sober I’m sober for a little while the alcohol wins I’m sober for a year the alcohol wins and when this is your experience of addiction you begin to give up hope subconsciously you don’t think you’re ever going to beat this problem why because the more you fight the more you fail and the more you fail the more your brain is learning we’re not going to win this might as well give up and this is what we see in the cycle of addiction people will be addicted for years lifetimes because they tried to stop right most people who are addicted to things have tried to stop and their experiences that it doesn’t work I end up losing because paradoxically they are feeding the craving they are intensifying the craving they don’t understand these principles so they’re actually making the problem worse instead what we want to do is pick battles that we can win right this is why we want to sort of restrict things to a particular time of the day and at least you’re winning from 8:00 a.m. to 11:00 a.m. you’re winning from 12:00 p.m. to 600 p.m. and what I tend to see in a lot of my patients is once start to do this there are times where they’ll even skip it because they are training their brain between 8 and 11 to resist and when 11:00 a.m. rolls around they say okay do I really need to use this right now or can I wait until 6 p.m. so it’s really bizarre but addictions to pornography are a little bit different and we can treat them a little bit differently the next thing that we really want to Target if we’re struggling with pornography are the underlying driving forces and there are two really big ones the first is that we use pornography as a source of emotional regulation so as long as you are developing proactive emotional regulation techniques and what I strongly recommend to all of my patients who are dealing with pornography in healthy or unhealthy ways is that you develop alternate emotional regulation techniques so we know from the Neuroscience of pornography that in this way it’s very similar to many substance use disorders in that it sort of gives us dopamine and it takes away negative emotions because while you are watching pornography you don’t really feel a whole lot of negative emotions you feel a ton of Shame and feel like a loser and all that stuff afterward right because you’ve lost and all comes the flooding of negative emotion so that can absolutely happen so what we want to do is really focus on emotional regulation techniques we have videos on things like Alexia we teach meditation techniques journaling talking about your emotions working with a therapist engaging in clinical treatment all of those things are really good and there’s one other thing that we want to do we just actually wait out the craving so there’s one big difference between pornography behavioral addictions and substance use disorders from a physiologic perspective the longer that you wait to use a substance the more more that the physiological withdrawal will increase the one advantage that we have going for us in pornography is that if we wait in relation to pornography there isn’t a gross physiologic withdrawal that starts to happen so in the case of something like alcohol which acts on our Gaba receptors if we go cold turkey on alcohol we can actually do things like induce seizures induce cardiac arrhythmias and alcohol withdrawal can be fatal so remember that when we’re talking about a substance use disorder there’s all kinds of physiologic things going on there’s one thing that’s different about pornography addiction which is that as we wait it’ll sort of the craving will intensify and then it will will sort of decrease and I know this sounds kind of paradoxical because I said don’t resist Cravings in the first place but this is a really important principle to understand see when it comes to physical substances the clock is kind of ticking against you that the intensity of what you feel will get worse and worse and worse but if you can bypass this critical point in pornography addiction where your brain is trying to tell you like hey I need this I need this I need this if you can really just waight it out it’s not about beating it it’s not about conquering it it’s just about resisting for 15 minutes 20 minutes 30 minutes 1 hour then things will start to work in your favor because we another mechanism will kick in in the brain which is sort of this homeostatic tolerance so if we think about sort of feeling hungry right at the very beginning when my body feels hungry it feels hungry and then if you don’t give it food for a little while our body will say okay fine like it’s okay like the hunger goes away if it’ll return again more intensely later but our body has this really in interesting principle where if it wants something and unless there is an acute physiologic withdrawal like if your glucose is crashing or something like that hunger pangs won’t go away but when it comes to transient Neuroscience wants when your brain wants something if you can ride out that urge and this is what we call Urge surfing in Psychiatry then things will actually be in your favor so I know it sounds kind of weird because I said don’t try to overcome the craving and at the same time all this stuff sucks for me but I’m able to tolerate the negativity because there is a greater purpose I’m I’m sacrificing for the sake of something right this is what a lot of parents will do when it comes to their kids like it sucks to be a parent it’s not very pleasant especially the first couple years and we’re okay with that because there’s this greater purpose so if you look at what the sort of what purpose adds to your life it’s not just purpose it is the ability to tolerate negativity and this is where pornography addiction really comes in because if we can’t tolerate negativity we will turn to pornography so at the end of the day what we really want to do is a little bit unusual because we don’t want to fight a battle and lose because this will intensify our cravings and it’ll lead to hopelessness instead what we want to do is set the field of battle really try to focus on things that make it easy to resist pornography we want to shape the environment around us and this is literally what we do in clinical addiction treatment whether it is shaping your Neuroscience neurochemistry through medications like nrex zone or it is shaping your environment by quitting your fraternity joining Narcotics Anonymous whatever we really shape the environment and this is where we use sunzo Art of War to set the battlefield so that you’re set up to win and then ultimately what I tend to see when things go well is that as people start to rack up some winds they feel hope they feel power they’re able to resist and thankfully pornography is one of these things where it’s not quite as intense of a slippery slope as some of these substance use disorders so even in this process people will often times use while they are building up a life that is worth living so I know it sounds bizarre but I strongly encourage yall to pay attention to your life and look at what happens when you try to resist a craving because if you resist and lose chances are the next battle will be harder to win hey Dr K how do I get my kid to put down the game without it being a fight every single time the problem with gaming is that it tricks our brain into being a substitute for Life once we start to get our psychological needs met through the game that’s when we become addicted how to raise a healthy gamer combines the latest in Neuroscience research along with a decade of clinical practice check it out anywhere books are [Music] sold the .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0.04 today we&;re going to talk about why
0.04 resisting pornography is a bad
0.04 [Music]
0.04 idea so pornography is running rampant
0.04 through our society right now people are
0.04 getting more addicted to pornography
0.04 than they&;ve ever been before and there
0.04 are a lot of good neuroscientific
0.04 reasons for this pornography is getting
0.04 more visual we have VR pornography
0.04 higher resolution pornography everything
0.04 is getting brighter bouncier jiggli
0.04 right and then we also have this whole
0.04 parasocial angle which has never existed
0.04 before in the past when you were looking
0.04 at pornography like when I was growing
0.04 up there were things like magazines and
0.04 they don&;t even move which is one thing
0.04 but they certainly don&;t interact with
0.04 you right and now what we have is things
0.04 like only fans or other platforms where
0.04 you can interact with a pornographic
0.04 content creator and you can form a
0.04 relationship with them and this can all
0.04 become very addicting but there&;s one
0.04 thing that we&;re actually screwing up
0.04 which is quite paradoxical so as people
0.04 try to conquer por porography improve
0.04 their relationship with it maybe get rid
0.04 of the addiction one of the biggest
0.04 mistakes that they make is trying to
0.04 resist it now I know that sounds
0.04 absolutely insane but in order to
0.04 understand this we have to understand
0.04 sort of the neuroscience and clinical
0.04 perspective on Cravings resistance and
0.04 also how we ultimately in addiction
0.04 Psychiatry overcome something like an
0.04 addiction hey y&;all if you&;re interested
0.04 in applying some of the principles that
0.04 we share to actually create change in
0.04 your life check out Dr K&;s guide to
0.04 Mental Health it combines over two
0.04 decades of my experience of both being a
0.04 monk and a psychiatrist and distills all
0.04 of the most important things I&;ve
0.04 learned into a Choose Your Own Adventure
0.04 format so check out the link in the bio
0.04 and start your journey today so let&;s
0.04 take a quick look at what happens when
0.04 you actually try to resist a craving so
0.04 anytime your brain wants something right
0.04 it starts by trying to entice you so it
0.04 says like hey man like let&;s get high
0.04 like let&;s have a good time it&;s fun
0.04 it&;s the weekend maybe it&;s not quite
0.04 the weekend it&;s a Monday and it&;s been
0.04 a hard day and oh the weekend wasn&;t
0.04 quite as fun as you thought you know
0.04 it&;ll come up with whatever I can to try
0.04 to get you to use and then if you say no
0.04 the addiction is like H now I&;m feeling
0.04 jittery come on bro like let&;s let&;s
0.04 take the edge off just take the edge off
0.04 a little bit right we don&;t have to
0.04 party the whole way like let&;s just take
0.04 the edge off let&;s just try to do this
0.04 it&;ll help us work it&;ll help us go meet
0.04 our friends like the rest of the day
0.04 we&;ll be good like come on man like
0.04 let&;s let&;s take away a little bit this
0.04 negativity let&;s move towards positivity
0.04 and then if you say no then the brain
0.04 starts getting pissed like ah like now
0.04 I&;m I&;m Gonna Give You withdrawal right
0.04 you feel this withdrawal we&;ve got
0.04 headaches we&;ve got stomach aches we&;ve
0.04 got whole body pain we&;re gonna have a
0.04 little bit of diarrhea and then if you
0.04 still White Knuckle it if you resist
0.04 then your brain gets angry at you says
0.04 what do you think you&;re doing we
0.04 need this stuff I told you we need this
0.04 stuff look at how much we&;re hurting now
0.04 now the headache intensifies now you
0.04 have diarrhea now you&;re vomiting and
0.04 then ultimately if you end up giving in
0.04 what your brain kind of says is like why
0.04 do you make me do this to you man like
0.04 why do you have to make me hurt you so
0.04 much in order to get what we need right
0.04 it&;s just like hunger and thirst thirst
0.04 to your brain where if you deprive your
0.04 body it starts to punish you it
0.04 literally sends you negative signals not
0.04 positive signals it punishes you for not
0.04 giving it what it wants and so I&;m kind
0.04 of reminded trigger warning of a South
0.04 Park episode where there&;s some domestic
0.04 violence but this is literally what I
0.04 see that one of my patients mentioned
0.04 this this episode to me and he said this
0.04 is what it feels like when I resist a
0.04 craving I feel like my brain starts
0.04 punishing me for fighting it in the
0.04 first place and so this is a weird
0.04 challenge because what ends up happening
0.04 is as we resist Cravings our brain
0.04 begins to learn what kind of signals do
0.04 I need to send to this dumbass to get
0.04 what I want and so the real paradoxical
0.04 thing that we see in addiction is that
0.04 the more patients resist and fail the
0.04 more intensive their Cravings become so
0.04 this is what&;s really different about
0.04 addiction right because if we look at
0.04 most things in life as we fight against
0.04 things even if we lose we get better
0.04 over time so if I go to the gym and I
0.04 lift a bunch of weight and I can&;t lift
0.04 let&;s say this high amount of weight the
0.04 next time I go to the gym I&;ll be better
0.04 at it my muscles will grow my muscles
0.04 will adapt right if I play chess over
0.04 time I&;ll get better at it I&;ll get
0.04 better at swimming I&;ll get better at
0.04 reading I&;ll get better at studying I&;ll
0.04 understand more mathematics more
0.04 calculus but addiction is the one
0.04 interesting thing where the more that
0.04 you fight it the worse off you become so
0.04 if you look at the cycle of addiction
0.04 after years and years and years of
0.04 people resisting Cravings being sober
0.04 for a while relapsing and then you&;re
0.04 kind of back on this treadmill over and
0.04 over again despite the fact that people
0.04 who struggle with addictions have a ton
0.04 of experience their life seems to be
0.04 moving in the wrong direction and why is
0.04 that it&;s because of this principle of
0.04 if you resist a craving and end up
0.04 giving in your brain learns this is the
0.04 signal that I send to this person in
0.04 order to get what I need so your brain
0.04 starts paradoxically amplifying the
0.04 Cravings because it knows that I need to
0.04 go straight to a high level so that we
0.04 can skip all these first steps because
0.04 this is what gets me what I need and
0.04 this isn&;t just your brain doing this in
0.04 the case of of of addictions we even do
0.04 this normally for example if you have a
0.04 family member who&;s deaf right you start
0.04 by calling their name you&;re like hey
0.04 buddy and they don&;t hear you and then
0.04 you raise the volume you say hey buddy
0.04 they don&;t hear you and then if they&;re
0.04 deaf you start yelling and that&;s when
0.04 they hear you if you do that a couple
0.04 times your brain will stop talking to
0.04 them in a normal voice it&;ll realize
0.04 what signal it needs to create to get
0.04 the response that it wants and it&;s not
0.04 just the case of deafness we also see
0.04 this in sort of getting our
0.04 psychological needs met so sometimes
0.04 we&;ll see this very commonly as
0.04 psychiatrist with kids so if a kid is
0.04 getting bullied at school they&;ll start
0.04 complaining about stomach AES and it&;s
0.04 not that they&;re faking it it&;s that
0.04 what happens with this child is I&;m
0.04 being bullied at school I go to my
0.04 parents and I say hey I&;m I don&;t want
0.04 to go to school today and they don&;t
0.04 listen but the one day that I have a
0.04 stomach ache they let me stay home so
0.04 our brain is learning and the child
0.04 isn&;t even consciously aware they they
0.04 can be 5 years old 6 years old 7 years
0.04 old and then the the the body will
0.04 actually create physiologic stomach AES
0.04 to get the needs met so our brain is
0.04 designed to get needs met and
0.04 paradoxically if you try to resist
0.04 cravings and fail your brain will
0.04 intensify the Cravings to get what it
0.04 needs so this is where you&;re probably
0.04 saying well what are you saying Dr K
0.04 should I just like watch porn anytime I
0.04 feel like it should I just give into it
0.04 completely cuz I&;ve tried that and that
0.04 doesn&;t work no no no so let&;s take a
0.04 look at the evidence-based inter the
0.04 things that really work for things like
0.04 addictions so we have things like
0.04 Psychotherapy we have things like peer
0.04 support like Alcoholics Anonymous we
0.04 also have certain medications we&;ll even
0.04 have things like environmental changes
0.04 and let&;s go through these right so
0.04 let&;s say I&;m an opioid addict when I go
0.04 to psychotherapy let&;s say I&;m seeing my
0.04 therapist am I resisting Cravings no not
0.04 when I&;m actually seeing my therapist
0.04 let&;s say I go to a Narcotics annonymous
0.04 meeting am I actually resisting Cravings
0.04 there no right so when I go to a
0.04 Narcotics Anonymous meeting there&;s a
0.04 lot of community people aren&;t like
0.04 actively usually resisting Cravings the
0.04 whole point is that they&;re sort of
0.04 doing things that are not grappling
0.04 directly with their illness and even if
0.04 we look at things of people like
0.04 sponsors so what&;s the whole point of a
0.04 sponsor here I am resisting a craving
0.04 and what does my sponsor do with me I
0.04 call them up and they say hey let&;s go
0.04 for a walk let&;s grab a cup of coffee
0.04 they kind of distract me and pull me out
0.04 of that battle the other thing that we
0.04 know in addiction Psychiatry is that you
0.04 know I&;ve had patients for example who
0.04 are alcoholics and members of
0.04 fraternities or sororities and as long
0.04 as you are hanging out with your
0.04 fraternity buddies your sorority sisters
0.04 whatever and you people are drinking
0.04 around you all the time it is very
0.04 difficult to resist those Cravings so
0.04 what do we recommend we recommend social
0.04 transplant you need a new set of friends
0.04 who are sober because if you are with
0.04 your set of friends who continue to use
0.04 it is very difficult to resist the
0.04 cravings and this is where we also see
0.04 this the principle that I talked about
0.04 which is that the more you resist the
0.04 more your brain learns hey I need need
0.04 to induce very strong Cravings I need to
0.04 punish this person for depriving this of
0.04 me so what we tend to see literally what
0.04 I see in my patients is that the more
0.04 that they resist Cravings the more
0.04 intense the Cravings become and then we
0.04 can also look at the medications for
0.04 addictions things like n trone or
0.04 buprenorphine in the case of opioid
0.04 addiction and literally what is the
0.04 result of these medications nxone
0.04 literally reduces cravings and
0.04 buprenorphine is actually like a partial
0.04 opioid Agonist which means that it&;s so
0.04 supplies the receptor that wants the
0.04 opioids and creates a partial opioid
0.04 signal and so since we&;re partially
0.04 satisfying the signal it actually
0.04 eliminates Cravings because the body and
0.04 brain are getting what they want so our
0.04 whole strategy in addiction Psychiatry
0.04 tends to be to avoid fighting Cravings
0.04 now there are good reasons to fight
0.04 cravings and we&;ll kind of get to that
0.04 in a second but I just want to point out
0.04 that we sort of see these two very
0.04 different things the first is that if we
0.04 are grappling and B knuckling our
0.04 Cravings over and over and over again
0.04 that doesn&;t usually lead to success
0.04 based on our research a lot of be people
0.04 become sober without ever seeing a
0.04 psychiatrist so we&;re not entirely sure
0.04 exactly what they do and on the other
0.04 hand we see that all of our
0.04 interventions are not directly fighting
0.04 Cravings in fact they&;re used to kind of
0.04 Dodge Cravings so what should you do
0.04 this is where there are a couple of
0.04 things about pornography that are
0.04 different the first is that when we&;re
0.04 talking about resisting Cravings this is
0.04 where there are a couple of things about
0.04 pornography that are a little bit
0.04 different from sub es that we can take
0.04 advantage of so I know this sounds
0.04 really bizarre but the strategy that I
0.04 tend to use with my patients is to pick
0.04 your battles so instead of just randomly
0.04 resisting the craving and then
0.04 ultimately giving into it which will
0.04 intensify the craving the next time you
0.04 step into the ring what we really want
0.04 to do is almost schedule our pornography
0.04 use so one of the things that I&;ll do
0.04 with my patients is sort of pick two
0.04 times throughout the day where they are
0.04 allowed to watch pornography this has a
0.04 very interesting effect the first is
0.04 that during outside of those windows it
0.04 becomes easier to resist but even then
0.04 they&;re resisting a little bit it
0.04 becomes easier to win the Battle of
0.04 pushing the pornography until 11:00 a.m.
0.04 and 6:00 p.m. let&;s say at 8: or 9: in
0.04 the morning you get this little impulse
0.04 and you kind of push it till 11:00 a.m.
0.04 so you&;re actually strengthening and
0.04 training your frontal lobe and then when
0.04 11:00 a.m. rolls around you can sort of
0.04 engage in it so this is really
0.04 interesting because we can&;t do this
0.04 with a substance use disorder and why is
0.04 that because in a substance use disorder
0.04 we have certain gen genetic
0.04 modifications usually to things like our
0.04 Gaba receptors our mu receptors which
0.04 mean that if I have a little bit of
0.04 alcohol 11:00 a.m. the rest of my day is
0.04 shot thankfully the pattern that I tend
0.04 to see in behavioral addictions is that
0.04 moderation is more accessible it&;s more
0.04 doable like so with someone like an
0.04 alcohol addict you can&;t really do that
0.04 if they have one drink they can&;t stop
0.04 with pornography addicts I&;m able to see
0.04 more success in this way so I know it
0.04 sounds really bizarre but just setting
0.04 aside a particular time where you&;re
0.04 allowed to watch pornography the second
0.04 thing is to generally remember that we
0.04 don&;t want to fight battles that we
0.04 can&;t win so we&;re going to draw a
0.04 little bit on sunzo and if you look at
0.04 sort of the the goal of addiction
0.04 Psychiatry it is about setting up the
0.04 field of battle to beat the addiction so
0.04 it is about reducing our Cravings
0.04 shaping our environment because the last
0.04 thing that we want to do is fight a
0.04 battle and lose because then our brain
0.04 will sort of bludgeon us with stronger
0.04 Cravings so what we really want to do is
0.04 try to pick battles that we are going to
0.04 win and and really build up those
0.04 successes and confidence because there&;s
0.04 one other really Insidious thing that
0.04 happens when we fight a craving and we
0.04 fail over time what do we learn from
0.04 doing this not only does our brain learn
0.04 to intensify the Cravings but we learn
0.04 that we are powerless I fought it I
0.04 fought it I fought it and who wins in
0.04 the end the addiction wins the
0.04 pornography wins the alcohol wins and
0.04 then tomorrow I wake up I&;m sure I&;m
0.04 going to do a prod let&;s go let&;s go and
0.04 then who wins in the end the alcohol
0.04 wins I&;m sober for a little while the
0.04 alcohol wins I&;m sober for a little
0.04 while the alcohol wins the sober I&;m
0.04 sober for a little while the alcohol
0.04 wins I&;m sober for a year the alcohol
0.04 wins and when this is your experience of
0.04 addiction you begin to give up hope
0.04 subconsciously you don&;t think you&;re
0.04 ever going to beat this problem why
0.04 because the more you fight the more you
0.04 fail and the more you fail the more your
0.04 brain is learning we&;re not going to win
0.04 this might as well give up and this is
0.04 what we see in the cycle of addiction
0.04 people will be addicted for years
0.04 lifetimes because they tried to stop
0.04 right most people who are addicted to
0.04 things have tried to stop and their
0.04 experiences that it doesn&;t work I end
0.04 up losing because paradoxically they are
0.04 feeding the craving they are
0.04 intensifying the craving they don&;t
0.04 understand these principles so they&;re
0.04 actually making the problem worse
0.04 instead what we want to do is pick
0.04 battles that we can win right this is
0.04 why we want to sort of restrict things
0.04 to a particular time of the day and at
0.04 least you&;re winning from 8:00 a.m. to
0.04 11:00 a.m. you&;re winning from 12:00
0.04 p.m. to 600 p.m. and what I tend to see
0.04 in a lot of my patients is once start to
0.04 do this there are times where they&;ll
0.04 even skip it because they are training
0.04 their brain between 8 and 11 to resist
0.04 and when 11:00 a.m. rolls around they
0.04 say okay do I really need to use this
0.04 right now or can I wait until 6 p.m. so
0.04 it&;s really bizarre but addictions to
0.04 pornography are a little bit different
0.04 and we can treat them a little bit
0.04 differently the next thing that we
0.04 really want to Target if we&;re
0.04 struggling with pornography are the
0.04 underlying driving forces and there are
0.04 two really big ones the first is that we
0.04 use pornography as a source of emotional
0.04 regulation so as long as you are
0.04 developing proactive emotional
0.04 regulation techniques and what I
0.04 strongly recommend to all of my patients
0.04 who are dealing with pornography in
0.04 healthy or unhealthy ways is that you
0.04 develop alternate emotional regulation
0.04 techniques so we know from the
0.04 Neuroscience of pornography that in this
0.04 way it&;s very similar to many substance
0.04 use disorders in that it sort of gives
0.04 us dopamine and it takes away negative
0.04 emotions because while you are watching
0.04 pornography you don&;t really feel a
0.04 whole lot of negative emotions you feel
0.04 a ton of Shame and feel like a loser and
0.04 all that stuff afterward right because
0.04 you&;ve lost and all comes the flooding
0.04 of negative emotion so that can
0.04 absolutely happen so what we want to do
0.04 is really focus on emotional regulation
0.04 techniques we have videos on things like
0.04 Alexia we teach meditation techniques
0.04 journaling talking about your emotions
0.04 working with a therapist engaging in
0.04 clinical treatment all of those things
0.04 are really good and there&;s one other
0.04 thing that we want to do we just
0.04 actually wait out the craving so there&;s
0.04 one big difference between pornography
0.04 behavioral addictions and substance use
0.04 disorders from a physiologic perspective
0.04 the longer that you wait to use a
0.04 substance the more more that the
0.04 physiological withdrawal will increase
0.04 the one advantage that we have going for
0.04 us in pornography is that if we wait in
0.04 relation to pornography there isn&;t a
0.04 gross physiologic withdrawal that starts
0.04 to happen so in the case of something
0.04 like alcohol which acts on our Gaba
0.04 receptors if we go cold turkey on
0.04 alcohol we can actually do things like
0.04 induce seizures induce cardiac
0.04 arrhythmias and alcohol withdrawal can
0.04 be fatal so remember that when we&;re
0.04 talking about a substance use disorder
0.04 there&;s all kinds of physiologic things
0.04 going on there&;s one thing that&;s
0.04 different about pornography addiction
0.04 which is that as we wait it&;ll sort of
0.04 the craving will intensify and then it
0.04 will will sort of decrease and I know
0.04 this sounds kind of paradoxical because
0.04 I said don&;t resist Cravings in the
0.04 first place but this is a really
0.04 important principle to understand see
0.04 when it comes to physical substances the
0.04 clock is kind of ticking against you
0.04 that the intensity of what you feel will
0.04 get worse and worse and worse but if you
0.04 can bypass this critical point in
0.04 pornography addiction where your brain
0.04 is trying to tell you like hey I need
0.04 this I need this I need this if you can
0.04 really just waight it out it&;s not about
0.04 beating it it&;s not about conquering it
0.04 it&;s just about resisting for 15 minutes
0.04 20 minutes 30 minutes 1 hour then things
0.04 will start to work in your favor because
0.04 we another mechanism will kick in in the
0.04 brain which is sort of this homeostatic
0.04 tolerance so if we think about sort of
0.04 feeling hungry right at the very
0.04 beginning when my body feels hungry it
0.04 feels hungry and then if you don&;t give
0.04 it food for a little while our body will
0.04 say okay fine like it&;s okay like the
0.04 hunger goes away if it&;ll return again
0.04 more intensely later but our body has
0.04 this really in interesting principle
0.04 where if it wants something and unless
0.04 there is an acute physiologic withdrawal
0.04 like if your glucose is crashing or
0.04 something like that hunger pangs won&;t
0.04 go away but when it comes to transient
0.04 Neuroscience wants when your brain wants
0.04 something if you can ride out that urge
0.04 and this is what we call Urge surfing in
0.04 Psychiatry then things will actually be
0.04 in your favor so I know it sounds kind
0.04 of weird because I said don&;t try to
0.04 overcome the craving and at the same
0.04 time
0.04 all this stuff sucks for me but I&;m able
0.04 to tolerate the negativity because there
0.04 is a greater purpose I&;m I&;m sacrificing
0.04 for the sake of something right this is
0.04 what a lot of parents will do when it
0.04 comes to their kids like it sucks to be
0.04 a parent it&;s not very pleasant
0.04 especially the first couple years and
0.04 we&;re okay with that because there&;s
0.04 this greater purpose so if you look at
0.04 what the sort of what purpose adds to
0.04 your life it&;s not just purpose it is
0.04 the ability to tolerate negativity and
0.04 this is where pornography addiction
0.04 really comes in because if we can&;t
0.04 tolerate negativity we will turn to
0.04 pornography so at the end of the day
0.04 what we really want to do is a little
0.04 bit unusual because we don&;t want to
0.04 fight a battle and lose because this
0.04 will intensify our cravings and it&;ll
0.04 lead to hopelessness instead what we
0.04 want to do is set the field of battle
0.04 really try to focus on things that make
0.04 it easy to resist pornography we want to
0.04 shape the environment around us and this
0.04 is literally what we do in clinical
0.04 addiction treatment whether it is
0.04 shaping your Neuroscience neurochemistry
0.04 through medications like nrex zone or it
0.04 is shaping your environment by quitting
0.04 your fraternity joining Narcotics
0.04 Anonymous whatever we really shape the
0.04 environment and this is where we use
0.04 sunzo Art of War to set the battlefield
0.04 so that you&;re set up to win and then
0.04 ultimately what I tend to see when
0.04 things go well is that as people start
0.04 to rack up some winds they feel hope
0.04 they feel power they&;re able to resist
0.04 and thankfully pornography is one of
0.04 these things where it&;s not quite as
0.04 intense of a slippery slope as some of
0.04 these substance use disorders so even in
0.04 this process people will often times use
0.04 while they are building up a life that
0.04 is worth living so I know it sounds
0.04 bizarre but I strongly encourage yall to
0.04 pay attention to your life and look at
0.04 what happens when you try to resist a
0.04 craving because if you resist and lose
0.04 chances are the next battle will be
0.04 harder to win hey Dr K how do I get my
0.04 kid to put down the game without it
0.04 being a fight every single time the
0.04 problem with gaming is that it tricks
0.04 our brain into being a substitute for
0.04 Life once we start to get our
0.04 psychological needs met through the game
0.04 that&;s when we become addicted how to
0.04 raise a healthy gamer combines the
0.04 latest in Neuroscience research along
0.04 with a decade of clinical practice check
0.04 it out anywhere books are
0.04 [Music]
0.04 sold
0.04 the
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